dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
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you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
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I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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