i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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