I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
