i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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