your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
