Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
