you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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