i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
