I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
