btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
