that's an acceptable place to lick
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
