I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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