they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
