whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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