No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
