Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
