she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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