C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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