And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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