Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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