I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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