i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I want to be your penis for a week.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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