So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
