hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
