i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I am mentally ready for anal.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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