I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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