Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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