Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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