You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Semen is not good for contacts.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.