If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.