I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
