You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
