i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
