U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
