His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
