We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
