I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i need some magic done to my vagina
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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