Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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