It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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