..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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