No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
