Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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