i don't like sucking hair
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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