The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Two words: nipple clamps
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