found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
