Slut skills are useful in every country.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
