If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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