yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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