It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
