remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Are my feet made of real feet?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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