is your mom at the bar?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
