is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
