my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
