Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
