you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
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Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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