Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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