Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
