I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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