it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
