Umm I'm too high to move.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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