found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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