someone get that fucking seahorse.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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