i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Success! We fucked roommates!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
