It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
