Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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